Pain Meds

Pain management... This is tricky and every person is different. I am very lucky to have a high pain tolerance (and extremely grateful). The recovery from this surgery has been more painful than any of my four C-Sections, uterine ablation, and both knee surgeries. That said, it's also been one of the easiest recoveries. Having only the chest muscles affected doesn't affect mobility nearly as much as abdominal muscles or knees did. So being able to get up and move is great! The pressure on my chest had been the biggest challenge. At first it was hard to take deep, or even normal, breaths and was difficult to hold a conversation. Percocet helped with that. The couple times that I accidentally let it wear off I feel sharp, stabbing, shooting sparks of pain across my chest, my hands would get shaky, and my body felt tense and jittery. As soon as the next dose took affect that all went away. At my peak I was taking 2 pills every 6 hours and weaned down to 1 every 6-7 hours around day 9. The thing is that it didn't help the pressure, so I was still very uncomfortable, and I really just wanted to be able to eat normal food and have a normal poop. (This is where I back track and talk about poop) Around day 5, Dr Kommareddi, the breast surgeon, gave me step by step instructions to follow over the next couple days to produce a bowel movement - starting with Milk of Magnesia that evening. At that point I wasn't feeling well, is nauseous, I had lots of gas, and my abdomen was very uncomfortable. The second dose the following morning didn't stay down long, and neither did my breakfast. We were clearly going about this from the wrong side. Not a pretty realization. So I set to getting things moving on my own - abdominal massage, bending and stretching, and sheer willpower (it helped that I got a Squatty Potty for my birthday!). Thank you to those who brought me beans, kale smoothies, essential oils, etc. Each day after that I had a movement, but I had to work for it. Not awesome. Ok, where was I? So I was still in pain from the pressure of the tissue expanders that were inserted between my ribs and pectoralis muscle, and I was constipated. So on day 11 I decided to let the pain medicine wear off to see what the pain was like. My chest muscles were jittery, then my hands started to get shaky, then my knees and elbows started to get tingly/jittery (like if I have too much caffeine and can't sit still - this is why I don't drink Coca-Cola), it was hard for me to concentrate on the conversation and I realized that this wasn't my body's reaction to pain - this was my body going through withdrawal from the Percocet it was now addicted to! Shit! I got up and washed my face, not knowing what to do. A friend had brought over some CBD Hemp Oil (completely legal, don't need a medical marijuana card for this), so I put some under my tongue (it was an odd combination of delicious and disgusting) hoping for the best. I went and sat back down and shortly realized that the jitters had stopped and my hands were steady. I wasn't like gooey relaxed or anything - I just felt normal. And it was great. Then I had an intense headache for about 24 hours. But now it's better and I can deal with the pain and pressure at this point. When I do something that causes pain, I stop. That's the point, right? Pain pill addiction is very serious. It's scary how easily your body gets addicted - this is from a week and a half of a moderate to low dose.

Met with Radiation Oncologist

Today I met with Dr Croghan, my Radiation Oncologist. We went over the time table - I'll go back to do imaging and mapping on February 15th, and begin radiation the following week. She went over some stretches for me to do to settle my angry pectoralis muscles. The right side is especially knotty and tight. She was pleased with my healing and the work that Dr Rao did. I am feeling well and able to do most things. It's odd little things that are difficult - like squeezing the toilet paper tube holder to change the roll, or shaking the conditioner bottle to get the conditioner to the top of the bottle. This weekend I drove to my brother's house, which is just a couple minutes away, and realized how much you use your chest muscles to drive. Driving straight was fine, but gripping the wheel to turn was difficult. It's definitely too early to be doing any kind of housework, so I won't even attempt that! I am so lucky to be surrounded by such an amazing community! We have been spoiled with dinners every night, and friends have stepped up to help get the kids to all their after school activities and practices, and they've driven me to all of my appointments. I don't know how I'm going to ever reacclimate to real life after this!

Post-op visits

Monday I met with the reconstruction doctor, Dr Rao. He removed the drain from the right side, as it was draining only a small amount of fluid each day. The left side was still draining about 50cc, so it stayed put. He was able to begin the reconstruction process and added 100cc of saline to the expander in the right side. During my mastectomy he inserted a tissue expander between the pectoralis muscle and ribs. It's like a big, sealed balloon with a circular magnetized port. So at Monday's appointment, he used two magnets to find the port and injected saline directly into the expander. I've got a little tiny boobie! But I'm not supposed to shave or use deodorant, so you may want to keep your distance. I haven't showered since the morning of the 12th. He'll only be expanding the right side for now, but expanding at a somewhat accelerated rate (2x/week instead of 1). Why, you ask, is he only building one boobie? It's for radiation. I will have my entire right side chest wall radiated. We want the radiation laser to come in at a harsh angle so it can graze the top of my chest and not be directed into my organs. With a flat chest wall on the left side, they're able to come in at a better angle with nothing in the way. I start radiation in a few weeks and will have to take a break from reconstruction. 6 weeks of radiation (5x/week), then 4 weeks of "grace period" before we can see how the elasticity of the skin changed due to radiation. Today I met with the Breast Surgeon, Dr Kommareddi. She was very pleased with my incision and minimal swelling (last time she saw me was when she handed the knife over to Dr Rao while I was splayed open taking a snooze). All is well, no new news from her - she gave me a copy of the pathology report. Quite interesting. My left breast weighed 5 grams less than the right but was an inch bigger. A whole inch! I won't get into the differences in the nipples, but just know that I was an imperfect person. 😉 I am off the narcotics - too many scary stories and it didn't get rid of the pain anyway. So I decided to be pro-poop and manage pain on my own. And what do you know - it's fine! Don't get me wrong - it's not "good", but it's not terrible either. Today I was able to lift a plate into the microwave on my own - can I get a "HOORAY" for that? We have REALLY been enjoying all the meals brought by people in the food train - it's heavenly! My dad has been here this week and is so great with the kids, and helps with homework, and washes dishes, and is building a puppet theater for the kids' talent show performance next week. I'm very thankful to have him! That is all for now, Lindsey Still pear shaped 🍐

Pathology

I got the pathology report back from the surgeon this evening. She said the left breast came back with only normal breast tissue - exactly what expected, so: Hooray. The originate tumor on the right side measured 2.5cm (originally thought to be 1.8cm) but was comprised of many necrotic cells - meaning the treatment has been working. The smaller tumor was 0.5cm (originally thought to be 0.8cm) and also had necrotic cells. So: YEEHAW for that! During surgery two lymph nodes were removed. The sentinal node which was previously biopsied and was already known to be malignant plus one more based on a radioactive dye test done right before surgery. The second lymph node came back clean. Everything came back with clear margins, meaning the entire tumors were removed with healthy cells surrounding on all sides (no cancer left behind). I am still groggy and sore, but glad to have this step behind me. I'll follow up with the surgeon on Monday, but will likely have the drains in for another week or two. The rash I developed from the antibiotic seems to be subsiding, but is still itchy, bumpy, and red. Super fun. My main focus as of late is getting that first bowel movement to come. Again: super fun. More trips to CVS. That is all for now. Signed, Lindsey, the pear shaped human

I'm home! Down two breasts and two lymph nodes. Pain is hit and miss - mostly it hurts to take breaths. Moving can be uncomfortable, but I think I have a mental block because of C-Section recoveries and when/where I would hurt. The reconstruction doctor inserted a tissue expander behind each of my pectoralis muscles. The pain I'm feeling is the pressure against my ribs and where the muscle connects to my sternum. And that is all for now Zzzzzzzzz...

Pre-surgery vacation

We're spending this week at Disneyland - no appointments, no scans, just family & fun! And rain.

I am anxious for Friday's mastectomy. I feel like it'll be my first real step forward. I've been on medication to block the estrogen from feeding the cancer, and another to block my uterus from producing estrogen (until my hysterectomy in April). But this is actually removing the cancer - it feels more "real" to me. Radiation will start around Valentine's Day. I'm super excited for the food signup! Thank you to everybody already signed up - if there's one thing about this that I'm excited about, it's that! Well, that and the fact that people keep telling me how young I am. 😊 But I just turned the big 4-0, so that may end.